My parents became foster parents in January 2007, taking in a sibling group of 5. This was my first experience with foster care, simply because before my parents became foster parents, I didn’t know of any other families who did foster care. I had heard of the foster care system, I had heard of kids being moved from homes multiple times, being abused by their foster parents and the other horror stories that the media picks up, but I didn’t have any type of personal experience with foster care. That changed overnight. I became one of four “biological” children of foster parents who to the world had lost their mind. They had taken in 5 children, all siblings, who had already been in care for a year. These children needed everything my parents could possibly offer. They had physical needs that must be met, as well as serious emotional, cognitive, and spiritual needs that had been neglected since birth. The age range of the children didn’t make parenting them any easier. They were 12, 10, 6, 4, and 2. This was completely overwhelming to my parents and teenage brothers. But they survived on faith and the help of some awesome friends and family. They had people donate clothes for the kids, build a play yard in the back yard, babysit for free, and even help with schoolwork. With out this support from their friends, the battles my parents faced in that first year may have been more than any family could handle. Over time, it became apparent that the older two children needed more attention than was possible in a family group this large, and they were placed in other more appropriate placements. But the three youngest, all girls, are now officially part of our family. On December 21st, 2009, they legally became my three younger sisters.
I tell all this to give some background on how BigHouse came about. When my parents became foster parents, I had just gotten married (less than a week before) and was a student at the University of Alabama. Even though I was 3 hours from home, I was still involved in my family’s struggle adapting to this new life. It wouldn’t be until a year later that I would realize what God was showing me through this experience with my family. During a college worship service, the speaker handed out strips of towel to represent the cloth used when Jesus washed the disciples feet. He then challenged us to tie the cloth to our backpacks and continually pray for God to reveal who our people group was to us. Who were we meant to serve? I did just that, and I still remember the excited call home I made to my mom the spring of 2008 when I was walking across campus with my strip of towel. I knew I was supposed to help foster families. I was writing a speech for my public speaking class, and I had chosen to write it on foster care. I was amazed at the statistics of how hard it was for children in foster care to succeed. They just had so much stacked against them, and without the support of a whole group of adults, they had almost no chance. The old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” really rang true. But unfortunately the village was turning a blind eye to the plight of children in care. In a conversation with a dear friend about the heartbreaking statistics I had found, she stated that foster children needed a “make a wish”. That turned a switch in my head. I know God had her speak those words for a reason.
Over the next 6 months, we talked and talked and talked about what we needed to do. We prayed that God would show us how we could make this dream to help foster children a reality. We decided on the name BigHouse from the Audio Adrenaline song “Big House”. It was the song my parents played for their kids the first week they came into their home, and it was on repeat from that day forward. The words could not have been any more appropriate for children in foster care. It talks about how even if you don’t have a mom or dad, or a home of your own, God has a place for you at his home- Heaven. We wanted to make BigHouse a place where foster children felt at home, a place where they truly belonged and felt loved. We thought maybe one day in the far off future we would really have a house somewhere to house our programs.
In November 2008, my dad called me and mentioned that he had driven by a big, old, boarded up, antebellum home in Opelika that had been moved from downtown to some property on the edge of town a few years earlier. He told me how he drove by the house, then turned around and went back. He felt like God was telling him to stop and take a look. He walked around the property and prayed about what God was trying to tell him. He then did some detective work to find out who owned the house. He finally got the name and phone number of the owner, and decided to give her a call. He asked her if she had any plans for her house on Andrews Road. Assuming he was just another developer who wanted the land, she told him she had no plans to sell the house, and that she would like for it to be used for some type of ministry for families. I am not positive, but I think my dad’s jaw probably hit the floor. He explained to her a little bit about what we wanted to do with BigHouse, and that we needed a house to do it. She loved the idea and agreed to meet with us and talk. We met with her at the end of December 2008, and began working on a plan to turn the house into BigHouse. The only problem with the house was the condition it was in. It had been moved and placed on this land almost 8 years earlier. It had then been vandalized, with most of the windows broken out, which made it completely open to the elements. The owners lived out of town, so the house suffered a lot of damage before they were aware of the vandalism and were able to board it up. They were in the position to begin repairing and restoring the home, but had been unable to move forward with the restoration because they lived out of town. We felt like we could definitely help them in this process by locating reputable people to get the job done. We also had the means to recruit volunteers in the area to cut down on costs of labor. So we worked out an agreement that we could use the house for free if we could help them restore the house! What an amazing and exciting offer! We began this plan in 2009, and had many groups come out to the house and work on restoring it. This was so exciting for us, because people really understood and saw the vision God had given us when they saw the house. Unfortunately, the owner of the house‘s own home was severely damaged by a hurricane. This put a hold on the money they were able to put into the house. As much as we wanted to continue restoring the house, the estimates were upwards of $500,000 and we did not have the resources to make that happen. We finally decided that we would look for a space we could rent and go ahead and begin serving our families. Although we are not using it currently, we still feel like this home has a connection to BigHouse, and we hope we will work with them in the future.
As hard as it was to let go of the house, we really feel like we are moving in the right direction by switching our focus from the place to the people. God had blessed this decision by providing an awesome home for use to rent at an incredible price-$500 a month for a 3500sqft house! And we have been given 3 months of free rent while we are still getting moved in… so we will not actually begin paying rent until April. We have already begun preparing the house to be used for BigHouse, and the space will serve our purpose so well. We have had a fully stocked clothes closet in Opelika since December 2008, and we have provided the families in the Lee County foster care system the opportunity to come and shop for new and gently used clothing for free. This has been really well received and we are excited to have a new clothes closet at our new location. We also have space for an office, and rooms devoted to art, music, dance, tutoring, and reading. We are now gearing up to begin our full afterschool program this fall.
After being in school at Alabama, my husband and I are both really excited to be back in Opelika, where we grew up. We love this community and we hope BigHouse will have a lasting effect on the children who grow up in foster care in Lee County.
Here is a pic of Sus and our baby Anderson!
