Family Night Out

This summer we're offering Family Night Out in lieu of our monthly Kids' Night Out respite events that we have during the school year. In June, we invited the families to join us at the skate center for the evening. It was a great opportunity for our summer interns to bond with the kids.

For our July event, we hosted a cookout at BigHouse prior to the annual fireworks display put on by the City of Opelika. We had over 80 attendees! We feasted on hotdogs, hamburgers, watermelon, cupcakes, homemade ice cream, and more. The parents enjoyed talking with one another while the kids played together in the backyard. From our building, we had just a short walk to view the fireworks show. We hope to make this an annual event.

A dose of reality...

I got a little dose of reality today.

I came across some statistics from an organization on the west coast that helps foster care youth who are aging out. Aging out means they are turning 18 and going to be considered a legal adult, so they no longer need (or usually want) to be in foster care. At first glance (a very quick glance) this seems like a good thing- they have "made it " to adulthood and can finally take care of themselves. Yeah, right. In reality, many times this is the beginning of a long and painful road to adulthood. One filled with homelessness, hunger, mental health problems, unplanned pregnancy, lack of education, and lack of job opportunities. The options are few and the issues are many for a teen trying to make it on their own. Please go read the statistics for yourself here!

I wish I were writing this blog post because BigHouse was launching some amazing new program to change these kids lives and put an end to the depressing list above. I'm not. I honestly don't know what to do to help these teens. I mean, I had the financial, emotional and physical support of my family until marriage, and even after in some ways, so what do I know about "making it" on my own at 18. I don't know what the right thing to say to teens in this or facing this is. BUT I do know that I can pray for them and God can meet those needs. So I'd like to ask you to join me in that. Not in doing yet, but in praying.

Pray for their safety.
Pray for their protection.
Pray for their comfort.
Pray for their provision.
Pray for their spiritual, emotional, mental and physical being.
Pray for their decision making.
Pray for their resistance to unhealthy habits, places and people.
Pray for their opportunities.
Pray for their salvation.

Also, pray for BigHouse, our community and yourself... how can we respond to this? How can we meet these needs and point these teens back to Christ?

Pray for wisdom for all of those who come into contact with these teens or make decisions on their behalf: judges, social workers, teachers, employers, land lords, doctors and government leaders.

Pray... and then if the Lord moves you to action, respond.

Eph. 3:20-21

-micah

Just a little background...

I was recently asked by a friend to tell her a little about BigHouse for a magazine article she is writing. I thought I would share my thoughts with you all as well...

In January of 2007 my parents became foster parents. I was a junior in college and even though I wasn't living at home, it really impacted me as well. They took in 5 children total, a group of siblings, and they were all completely overwhelmed. My parents had a lot of friends and family that were able to help meet the needs of the kids in their home. They had friends that would pass on their daughter's hand-me-downs, they had girls who volunteered to babysit, people willing to help tutor and their Sunday school built them a huge playground in their backyard. I was able to see that when the body of Christ knew the needs of foster children and the family caring for them, they were willing and able to help. During the spring of 2008, God really began to give me a passion for children in foster care. I had grown to know and love the kids in my parents home, and realized that they were just regular kids who wanted to be loved and cherished. I was also challenged at a college worship service to begin to pray that God would reveal whose feet I should wash with my life. Who was my "people-group" that I should serve with my life? I have a distinct memory of walking across campus and calling my mom to tell her I knew who my people group was - it was foster children. It is the invisible, forgotten and often tossed aside children that are truly America's orphans. I began to pray that God would show me how to serve these children and the families that care for them. While talking with a close friend a couple months later, I shared with her some of the startling statistics about children and their experience in foster care, and how I knew there had to be something we could do. She said "Foster children need an organization like Make a Wish" and that was when God really gave me a vision for BigHouse. Foster children needed the opportunity to experience childhood like other children. They needed to have opportunities and experiences that many of us took for granted growing up. Going to camp or on vacations, picking out your school clothes or birthday present, taking art, dance classes or playing sports, etc. However, I knew from personal experience with my family it is hard for their foster families to provide these opportunities on their own.They need help. And our community needs to be responding. So BigHouse was born to meet the needs and improve the quality of life for children in foster care through support from the community. Our mission statement is "Connecting the needs of foster families with the generosity of the community through the love of Jesus Christ." At the end of the day, we just want our kids, parents, and volunteers to know that Jesus knows them, loves them, cares for them, and has a plan for them.

To say I did anything special to make BigHouse go from a dream to a reality would be incorrect- God has taken care of BigHouse EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. Even when I make human mistakes and wrong decisions, He has worked it out for His good and glory. He has opened every door, even doors that we weren't aware needed to be opened. He has allowed other people's hearts to be moved by the reality of foster care and what these children face and they in turn have supported BigHouse. The last three years have truly been a testament to God's grace and faithfulness. He has taken BigHouse from a big dream to a big reality.

We have a lot of different programs at BigHouse and we are always trying to find ways to serve our families better. Right now, we are knee deep in towels for our 2012 Statewide Swimsuit and Towel Drive. We have collected new swimsuits and new towels for 3000 foster children in our state and we have each towel embroidered with the child's name. This drive is a huge undertaking, we will probably embroider about 1500 towels ourselves, but it is so important to our kids. Many of the children we serve have very little they can call their own, much less something with their name on it - made especially for them. In each bag, we include the swimsuit, towel, and a card from BigHouse. The card says that not only is that child loved by their community, they are loved unconditionally by a Heavenly Father and He has a plan for their life. 

During the year, we also have a fully-stocked clothes closet for children to come and shop in for free. It takes up the 2nd floor of our building, and we have everything from preemie onesies to teen clothes. We want our kids to feel comfortable in what they wear and proud to wear their clothes to school or church. We also have a birthday club for our kids, we send each child a card the month of their birthday with a certificate to come to our birthday closet and pick out a gift. We have tons of new toys, games and gift cards for the kids to choose from. 

We also try to meet the needs of our foster parents with our Kids' Night Out program. Each month we have a respite night for our families, we provide dinner and entertainment for the kids while the parents get the evening off, for free. This is a very popular event for our families because many of our parents just need a little time off to reconnect with each other. We also have day camps during the Summer, a beach trip in the Fall, and other special events throughout the year.

We have found that many people are excited to help a foster family when they know how. We understand that not every family is called to be foster parents, but we have ALL been called to care for the orphan (James 1:27). The 400,000 foster children in America are America's orphans, with over 120,000 waiting to be adopted by a forever family. Instead of turning a blind eye to foster children, we need to be embracing them, loving them, and showing them the love of Christ. We often get asked how someone can help foster children. The best answer is support their foster family. Love on those who are sacrificing their lives to care for these kids. IT IS NOT EASY. Take them meals, cut their grass, offer to babysit (for free!), pass on nice hand-me-downs, and include the family and kids in activities. Invite them to the lake or over to cook-out. Give them your passes to a football game or offer the parents a weekend at your condo. Or, if you have an organization like BigHouse in your community, volunteer there or support them financially. Just don't sit back and do nothing. We have been called to this! :)

Here is a note from Saddleback church's orphan care ministry that has some good stats!
org https://www.facebook.com/notes/orphans-and-the-church/the-american-orphan/155263781164493

www.ourbighouse.org

"Attempt something so great for God that if He isn't in it, it is doomed to fail."

I'm not sure where I heard this, but I know I've heard it said many times. This is exactly where we are with our Statewide Swimsuit and Towel Drive. We are attempting to provide over 2800 of Alabama's foster children with a new swimsuit and towel embroidered with their name this spring. In each bag there is a card from BigHouse that tells the children not only are they loved by their community, they are loved unconditionally by a Heavenly Father. Our goal is to provide these children with a gift that has been made just for them, to show them how special they are to Him!

We know we can't do this alone. We need others to stand with us and support this drive. Not only do we still need donations, we need help from embroiderers. We need people who will commit to helping us make these towels so special for these children. We have heard over and over from different families how many of these children have NEVER had something with their name on it- NEVER had something that was made especially for them- maybe even NEVER had something that they could call their own.

I think most of us would admit that we don't know what it feels like to not have something that is our own. Something that no one else in the world can claim. I know growing up I had a blankie, clothes, toys, a bed, a bike, dolls, money, a car, and much more that I could call mine. Although I did share a lot with my siblings, there were things at my home with MY name on them. It is hard to imagine living in someone else's house, sleeping in someone else's bed, playing with someone else's toys, just waiting to be someone else's foster child. Their lives can be difficult to imagine and although we have wonderful foster parents who do their best to make these children feel comfortable and at home, it still isn't their home. These kids face issues of fear, confusion, disappointment, loss, grief, anger, and separation that most of us have never known. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to know how to help.

Sometimes it's easier to just ignore the issue of foster care all together and hope it goes away or hope you are never confronted with just how hard life can be for these kids. I'll admit, sometimes I get overwhelmed by the whole system and just want to forget about it. I don't want to lay in my bed at night and think about how over 500,000 children in the US are sleeping in a bed that is not their own tonight. I don't want to think about how there are close to 120,000 waiting to find a forever home. I don't want to think about the foster parents who, at that very moment, are holding, rocking, patting, or singing a crying child to sleep because that child feels scared and alone. BUT I do. I have to. Not because I am a good person, but because God is a GREAT God and he has given me a passion for children in foster care. And I am not alone. He has pressed the call of the foster child into more hearts than mine; into my husband Blake's, into our friend and BigHouse staffer Susannah's, into my parents, into families across our community who are doing foster care, into local churches, into area business owner's, and I believe into MANY more who have not yet answered the call. Some of those being called may be called to be foster parents, but the majority of us are not. We are not off the hook- we are called to be supporting those families and children ANY WAY WE CAN. We are the body of Christ and we need to wrap His arms around these families and kids and love on them.

How can we do this? How can we live out James 1:27 in America today? How can you, the average, hardworking citizen make a difference in the life of a foster child? You can start small. You can start with a swimsuit and embroidered towel. You can start by donating $25 to sponsor one child in this drive. You can make sure that one more child will receive something with their name on it, something they can call their own, something that tells them they are special. But you can, of course, do more than that. You can donate $100 for four children, or $1000 for 40 children. You can donate new towels or swimsuits. You can embroider towels with your machine. You can donate your machine to BigHouse for a week, a month, or forever. You can buy BigHouse another machine so we can do 2x as many next year. You can donate clothes to our clothes closet. You can donate new toys and gift cards for our birthday club. You can volunteer for our Kids' Night Outs. You can pay our rent for a month(or a year). You can volunteer to tutor. You can help us with quickbooks. You can donate a car, boat, motor home, trailer, etc. You can sponsor a family for our beach trip. You can come and clean our building. You can buy a t-shirt. You can do a lot or a little to help. But you can do something.

Pray about where you fit in the foster care system. Are you being called to be a foster family? Let us know and we can help you get connected to more resources. Want to support those already fostering? Call us, email us, come by, facebook us, tweet us, JUST GET IN TOUCH. We NEED you!

Want to know more about BigHouse- check out our website- www.ourbighouse.org.

Please don't quiet the call. Your life will be blessed.

-Micah Melnick
Founder and Director of BigHouse Foundation

A learning experience...

Yesterday, Blake and I had the opportunity to go to The Foundation Center in downtown Atlanta and take some free classes on grant seeking. This is an area we are working hard to educate ourselves about in hopes that we can find more funding sources for BigHouse and our programs. We were able to take 3 different classes, all extremely informative, and I feel like we have a much better grasp on what we need to do to pursue more grant funding.

In our first class, I was really surprised to learn that, on average, about 73% of non-profit funding comes from individuals. That is almost 3/4's of a non-profit's budget! Why it shocked me, I'm not sure but it really helped me realize that BigHouse needs to do a much better job of engaging individuals to support our programs. It is the financial commitment of our families, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church congregations, community members and complete strangers that will keep BigHouse running. And we need that commitment. We need people who will stand with BigHouse financially.

Now, I know we are all asked about 1,000,000,000 times each week, month, year, to donate money to a cause. And most of these things are really great causes that deserve your support! It can be hard to know who or what to support, especially when money gets tight and support may be limited. That is why I am asking our families, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church congregations, and community members (and complete strangers) to please prayerfully consider supporting BigHouse. If God leads you to support other groups- that is great and you should! BUT if God is leading you to support BigHouse, please be obedient to His call. We hear it said often "I can't do foster care but I want to help" and this is a BIG way you can help. Supporting BigHouse supports those who are able to be foster parents. Supporting BigHouse supports those in our county and state that are most vulnerable. Supporting BigHouse helps us reach over 3,000 children in Alabama's foster care system each year through one or more of our many programs.

Maybe you are wondering exactly what your giving would support... That is a great question! BigHouse has many programs in place to support foster families in Lee County and we are working on growing them to support other counties as well!

Our Clothes Closet is one of most utilized programs because it meets an immediate and tangible need for our families. We keep new or gently used clothing for preemies to young adults organized and ready for our families to shop- FOR FREE. Our clothes closet is dependent on quality donations from families in our community and support from our clothes closet sponsor Kids Clothes Connection. Without this help, many of our families would bear the financial burden of clothing their children alone. Although small vouchers may be available to new children in care, it can take days to receive the voucher and it is hard to build a complete wardrobe for a child on a voucher for around $65. This is a tangible need BigHouse meets for children in foster care.

One example of how God provides for our families through our clothes closet was a time when a group of young siblings came into care in the middle of the night. They brought only the clothes they were wearing to their new foster family. First thing the next morning, they came to BigHouse on their way to a court hearing. We were able to find suitable school/play clothes, shoes, some underwear and pajamas for all the kids. And we watched these sweet, scared little children play in twirl in clothes they picked out. I will never forget how it felt to see their faces light up in their new clothes.

Another program that is popular with our kids and parents alike is our KNOs! Our Kids' Night Out program allows us to provide respite care for 3 hours 1 Friday night a month for our families. Parents drop their kids off with us for an evening of fun, food, and a fair share of chaos! We play games, do crafts, watch movies, eat dinner, and have a lot of fun, all while getting to know and love on our BigHouse kids. We also get the opportunity to share God's love with the kids through our time, energy, words and actions. We average about 50 children each month, ranging in age from infants to teens. We are so thankful for our KNO Partner Cornerstone Church and the blessing they have been to provide a space and meal for all our KNOs this spring.

The biggest program we do at BigHouse is our Statewide Swimsuit and Towel Drive. This drive is in its 4th year and this will be our second year to do it statewide. BigHouse will collect new swimsuits and new bath or beach towels for children in foster care. We will have each towel embroidered with the child's name to make it extra special and unique. Last year we completed 3421 requests from children in 61 out of 67 counties. We include a card to each child that explains that their community loves and supports them and that they have a Heavenly Father that will never fail them. The feedback we have received from kids, teens and families lets us know that this drive is important to helping these kids feel cherished and special. For many, this may be the only thing they have every had personalized just for them.

BigHouse has many other programs including a Birthday Club, Preschool Mothers' Day Out, Tutoring, Summer Day Camp, Family Beach Retreat, Back to School Bash, Glitz, Glam and Gowns Event, Care Packages, and Breakfast with Santa, all of which you can learn more about on our website. Our goal with ALL our programs and events is to provide for the needs foster children and families have while sharing Christ love with them. We hope that we can plant a seed or make an impact that God can grow and magnify for His Glory.

Supporting BigHouse with your finances will not only help us grow and take these programs to other children in other counties, it will also allow us to keep the lights on(so to speak) at BigHouse. Your support will help provide our rent and utilities, our 2 paid staff, and our insurance and background checks so we can continue to work with these children. Your giving, whether it is a little or a lot, will go a long way in our efforts to serve foster families. If you are one of the many people we have spoken to that want to provide for the needs of children in care, but can't be a foster parent, please become a BigHouse supporter. We NEED you!

To make a one time donation OR set up a recurring donation (as little as $10 per month!) please use our Razoo Donation Page.

**Razoo is an established organization that helps non-profits like us set up ways to accept online donations!

Thank you all for reading and praying about this opportunity. We look forward to having others join us in our passion to support foster children.

-Micah Melnick

Founder and Executive Director

Have a question? Shoot me an email at micah@ourbighouse.org

Swimsuit and Towel Drive

It is finally March, which means that our 2nd annual statewide Swimsuit and Towel Drive has begun!

Allison and I have officially been inducted into the SSTD club- we learned how to embroider last week! As we hear stories from Micah and Susannah, this skill will come in handy over the next few months. I'm proud to say we are already well on our way to finishing our first county!

Our first of many towels to embroider!

We are excited to have requests from over 45 counties across the state! This means that we need all the help we can get with donation sites and embroiderers. If you are interested, visit our offical website. We would love for you to be involved, even if you aren't right here in Lee County. We can't wait for the kids to have their new swimsuits and towels with their name on it for the summer. It's coming up so quickly!